The people we cross paths with in life are forever part of our own. They may be strangers we encounter. Perhaps there are those who become adversaries on our journey. There are even those who let us in to cultivate a meaningful relationship. All are critical and make up the moments of importance in helping to shape and define our own lives. They penetrate and become part of our moral fiber, whether we had a chance encounter or we’ve known them forever. Every nuance, every conversation or deed, each are moments of importance forever altering us in ways both subtle and dramatic. We are accountable for our actions and masters, or fools, of our own destiny. However, the people we meet are equally a part of where we end up.
Had a chance to attend a high school reunion recently, which is strange on a few levels. First, my memory works so much harder these days. It is difficult keeping track of the immediate, much less remembering people and events from well over forty years ago. The second, more telling reason, is that I don’t recall being all that memorable to too many people.
Most kids knew of each other as the school wasn’t all that big. Yet, rather than standing out, I sort of drifted through those high school years. Seems I was in a fog about many of the questions I was beginning to formulate. Just wasn’t engaged with opening up to others. If I had to do it over again, I would have built better relationships in those years. Then again, it wasn’t a skill that came natural to me. I leaned in, watching, listening and learning from others. I was more an observer of human nature than a fully formed participant.
Still, as I sat in the watering hole where we had all gathered, all those connected faces came alive. It was as though we were all transported back to the high school cafeteria. Shapes and faces had all become fuller and rounder. In some cases, notably mine, worn and weathered was the operative phrase. Nonetheless, these colorful characters, sharp shooters, reckless clowns, debutantes, beauty queens, restless thinkers were all there. There were those with their head in the clouds and others with their feet on the ground. Everyone was familiar to me and I was honored to be in their company.
Most of the folks were engaged in warm conversation and I gathered many had stayed in touch with each other. For me, it was the first time seeing many of these individuals in years. A special treat was when I sat with a close friend from back in the day. Our wives chatted as we revisited tales and adventures long ago delegated to forgotten memories in both our minds. Yet, even more magical, we shared life stories of times long after high school, long after going our separate ways. Proof positive that old friends and new paths can indeed happen.
An added precious moment was seeing and talking with one of my old flames. Well, no, we hadn’t actually been an item. She was another in a long line of young ladies from back then I was relegated to admire from afar. That’s a whole different story. Still, we had had so much in common and were close friends above anything else. With my wife at my side, there would be no sparks only the flames of friendship and all was good.
There was something warm and inclusive with all of these re-acquaintances. It was as if they had never left and the connection felt more like a strong bond than anything passing. In truth, many of these people who had gone their own ways had been a huge part of my life. Reliving fragments of adventures long past, a piece of each one of these friends I had carried with me. They had always been a part of my life. Glad I listened, watched and learned all those years ago.
As the evening ended, I wanted to thank each one of these friends. Wanted to thank them for being a part of my life. Hopefully, I had imparted something of value that perhaps they carried with them in the intervening years. For most of them, memories of me would be fleeting at best. Then again, I’m confident there had almost assuredly been a moment of importance shared. Just maybe I had passed along to them as much as they had passed along anything to me. And so it goes….
Here’s the thing…You were one of those rare people who have passed through my life who happened to be real. Most folks were (and perhaps still are) trying to be someone else. Someone they perceived to be better than their true self. You were always comfortable in your own skin and that was evident to most who knew you. It surely was to me. I consider myself fortunate to have known you for probably close to fifty years and even though there were great gaps between our mostly happenstance meetings, whenever we cross paths it’s like only days have gone by. Through your honest countenance, you help put me back where I belong and for that I’m ever thankful. Oh yeah, and you write pretty good too…and your wife’s nice.
My dear friend, your wife is nice, too.